2012 Vidcon is upon us! The ultimate convention celebrating online video creators and their fans is here and running through July 30 at the Anaheim Convention Center, so I hope you’ve dropped everything you’re doing to attend – because why go to Disney Land and meet Mickey Mouse when you can go to Vidcon and be surrounded by thousands of sweaty YouTube fanatics wearing Annoying Orange t-shirts and carrying Ray William Johnson bobble heads? The Magic Kingdom, where dreams come true, versus a giant basement full of the crushed TV and movie dreams that Disney didn’t make come true. Screw Jiminy Cricket and his “wish upon a star” drivel—I’ll take Vidcon, cuz it’s hackin’ awesome!
For the official record, I love Vidcon and Annoying Orange and YouTube and Ray William Johnson, and being on YouTube is better than being on TV or in movies, and I am smiling a Stepford wife’s smile at this very moment.
Let’s dissect the Vidcon swag bag:
It’s a red reusable tote bag. However, the cool thing is that it has the Vidcon logo on it, which will make you the belle of the ball when you’re hitting up grocery stores manned by twenty-somethings that dream of being “YouTube famous.” Tell them you know DeStorm Power, and they’ll be wowed—your truth is only slightly complicated by the fact that you omitted saying “of” after “know”–no biggie when you consider the implications of free produce.
This snazzy shirt is emblazoned with Vidcon graphics that clearly came from 2012–the only reason we know this is because Vidcon didn’t exist in 1990. This shirt is exemplary of new media – so much so that you could say it puts the “ew” in “new media.”
The Orabrush is a tongue cleaner that helps clear up bad breath. It’s included in the bag because studies have shown that YouTube viewers have a condition known as “spent all month watching Smosh and have now forgotten how to read, ride a bike, or brush my teeth.”
A thick black rubber wristband that has “make videos every day” on it. Wear this to school to remind yourself of the future that awaits you if don’t start making better grades.
Stickers, Lanyard, Vidcon Guides
Stickers from Bammo, Blip, My Damn Channel Live, Machinima and YouNow. Also, a Vidcon lanyard to clip your pass and guides to get you around the convention. Sell all of them on Ebay after Vidcon ends to fund building a new house.
The cover story is “6 Steps to Making Your YouTube Vidoes Look Their Very Best.” Why read that when you can read NMR’s very own snarky guide?
Overall, it’s a pretty fun swag bag. Enjoy Vidcon!