This week in YouTube has been the worst if you’re not into watching 12 hour-long campaign speeches or hearing terrible Paul Ryan joke after terrible Paul Ryan joke. What about those of us too afraid to vote for fear of being involuntarily drafted during the inevitable machine vs human war of 2020? Are we to be left out in the cold like so many misbehaving Inuit children? If you’re like me and thinking “Hey, this presidential stuff can go suck a lemon; bring on some crazy YouTube bullsh*t,” then you’re in luck. Ironically, the selection of videos curated for this week’s list come from some people who couldn’t give one rat’s a55 about election results. Of course, I am talking about children. Here are a few fundamental facts about kids in YouTube videos.
1. When they are on a trampoline, they will fail
2. When they are climbing anything, they will fail
3. When they are on bikes, they will fail
4. When they are on a slide, they will fail
5. When kids fail the result is always hilarious
Luckily, kids fail a lot, and their emotionally supportive parents are typically there to film it. Here’s hoping all of that YouTube revenue will be enough to pay for the many sessions of therapy these kids will need after knowing that millions of people laughed at their sorrow. God bless you, Internet, and god bless you, children of the world. Also, in honor of German Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin patenting the “Navigable Balloon” 117 years ago today, I have included a video of the completely bat sh*t-crazy 1942 cartoon “Zeppelin vs. Pterodactyls.”