Must-Watch Video: ‘Fat Jew’ Recreates ‘Braveheart’ With Hookers. ‘Nuff Said

That is probably the best — and truest — headline I have ever had the privilege to write.

“Fat Jew” is the screen handle of Fabrizio Goldstein, an online purveyor of comedic delights known for his public nudity. Hey, if you got it, flaunt it. In a moment of sheer filmable genius, Goldstein recruited two hookers to come in and recite lines from Braveheart’s climactic battle scene — while topless and in full face paint. And they fucking do (and are surprisingly convincing!).

I really don’t have too much I can add to your overall experience for the video, except to point out that it is surprisingly common for hookers to be recruited for non-sexual activity such as talking, dinner or budget therapy (depends on the price of the hookers, I guess). Sometimes the men can’t get it up or are nervous or really think that the hookers just want a benevolent “savior.” The hookers mostly don’t. Don’t ask me how I know about all this… sometimes I just get these visions in my head and feel compelled to report them as truth. Sounds pretty plausible though, right?