If there’s one thing my black heart loves, it is the innocence being stripped from otherwise beautiful and pure things. I love when people commit crimes while wearing Santa suits, or when a child vomits on his classmates during some school stage performance, or when the prostitute you’re soliciting turns out to be a cop and your picture ends up on a website for perverts.

Or take this fine and beautiful YouTube video of a public Christmas display in the UK town of Brighton. Some downtrodden city employee has taken it upon himself to craft sneaky, subversive pornagraphy throughout the city’s decorations. In a possibly NSFW video (and, possibly, the rest of this article), the unnamed prankster has created a soul-sucking masterpiece worthy of R. Crumb. So mixed in with a string of electronic jingle bells and holly, you get a fiber optic cock dispensing blast after blast of white hot jizz, which drips down like icicles from a nearby tree. Further on down the road, ol’ Kris Kringle gets fellated by a trumpet-playing angel. And in case you were wondering how someone could be so evil on Christmas (not shoot up a school right before Christmas kind of evil, but still, quite cheeky), the culprit leaves behind a message, wired up in lights: “I hate my job.” Good thing him hating his job causes me to love mine.