Shorty’s got love for the game. Smacking of a gangsta-edition of “Toddlers and Tiaras,” Sarah Redden, a 6-year-old viral sensation with her first track “Kaepernicking,’” is back for round two now that the San Francisco 49ers are Super Bowl-bound.
The big-eyed cutie pie, all decked out with eye black and fake tattoos rocks a number 7 jersey (a gift from the actual tattooed #7 — QB Colin Kaepernick — who sent her an autographed jersey after the success of her first hit), and drops rhymes so heavy you’d think they were your mom.
“Out here wearin’ all scarlet and gold. Now we already got 5 super bowls. But start preparin’ for the Super Bowl party. Come February we’ll be holdin’ the Lombardi. To Disney World for our vacation,” is just a taste of the flavor the little Redden be spreadin’ (aww shit, I wasted my life).
In an interview with the UK Daily Mail, Redden explained her musical process: “My brother and I pick out instrumental music tracks then make up all the lyrics, video, and record on his laptop.” Christ, at six I still hadn’t figured out that you’re supposed to drop your underwear before you poop.
The original song “Kaepernicking” has been viewed by over 500,000 people worldwide and was so popular, Fox used it in their pre-game coverage before one Niners game this season. Clearly shorty has skills; now does she have longevity?
Man, this is the reason I don’t have a kid — there are all these cute blond-haired, blue-eyed youngsters running around doing stuff — I just know my kid would be a fat, whiny asshole with a bad personality like his dad. Also I have weak sperm, but I probably shouldn’t put that in an article about kids.