So the goats have screamed and the seals have answered.
Hot on the web, this compilation of seals screaming like goats who are screaming like humans is the most meta thing to come down the pipeline since that video of humans screaming like goats who scream like people (whew!).
Admittedly, it is a little frustrating that the screaming goats trend has gotten so huge because I championed it back when no one wanted to see “some stupid-ass video about a stupid-ass goat.” And now, I can’t go two days without someone asking me if I’ve seen “that hilarious screaming goat clip.” I’m on the verge of hating this whole “phenomenon.” Now I know how the early fans of Sublime feel.
Of course, on the other hand, I’m happy for the goats. Or in this case, the seals who wish they were goats. I feel like this is a “Charlotte’s Web” sort of thing where because these animals have a unique skillset, I can’t possibly eat them. Nah, fuck that, I’m eating them anyway. Goat and seal pie is delicious. It is one of my family’s oldest recipes. Of course, for short, we just call it “goatse.” Here’s a picture of it. I spread this pie wide open so you can see everything. Hehehe.