This Star Wars Fan Has Totally Changed His Life to Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens

Thinking it would be a simple, maybe even a fun challenge to avoid Star Wars spoilers, he had no idea just how hard the Disney marketing machine was working against him.

Star Wars spoilers are everywhere, yet somehow he’s avoided almost every detail about Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It’s only cost him everything.

Meet Johnny:

Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens meetjohnny

This man loves Star Wars so much, he hasn’t talked to it in over a year.

Johnny O’Mara is a very proud Star Wars nerd. He’s even got the battle scars to prove it – a pair of Star Wars tattoos.

Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens johnnytattoo

Stamped by the Galactic Empire

He’s also got a tattoo quoting the beginning of the Code of the Sith:

Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens peaceisalie

It means “Peace is a lie, there is only passion.” It’s in the Star Wars language of Aurebesh, because of course.

And yet, here are some things the passionate, die-hard, Star Wars super-fan has never seen:

Never seen this.

Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens finn

Or this.

Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens poster

Never seen this person.

Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens rey

Doesn’t know they’re home.

Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens han chewie

Poor bastard’s never seen a droid roll.

Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens bb 8

He’s never seen this, or had an argument about whether you’d cut off your own hands with it.

Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens kylo ren lightsaber

Of course, not seeing any of these things only happens when you’re intentionally trying not to see them. Which is exactly what Johnny’s done.

“The trailer for Episode I shows Darth Maul’s crazy lightsaber, which was probably the biggest, coolest reveal in that movie,” Johnny said. “And it’s in the trailer! It’s the one redeeming quality of that movie, and it was ruined in the trailer.” Okay, so no The Force Awakens trailers. And Johnny won’t read anything about the movie either.

In an attempt to go into The Force Awakens as pure as possible, a year ago Johnny decided he was going to avoid all possible spoilers for what might happen in the brand-new Star Wars movie. To date, nearly all Johnny knows about the movie is 1) the title, 2) the director, and 3) some of the actors. No character, no plot, and definitely no trailers.

But it goes beyond that. This is a zero-spoilers mission. Even when Johnny goes outside he has to avert his eyes, staring straight down, lest he be spoiled by some stray piece of marketing. He has to run away from even the most casual of conversations, because even our nation’s grocery baggers and grandmothers might spill something Johnny doesn’t yet know. He is never safe.

Avoid Star Wars Spoilers Before The Force Awakens nana

“Maybe even twins,” she guesses.

But is this actually hard to do?

Surely, it’s not much more work than just paying attention to what’s around you and using Google Chrome’s Star Wars-spoiler-blocker extension – which Johnny definitely has installed. Actually, it’s much more complicated than that.

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