I’ve always been a somber and serious writer type with neo-luddite qualms about social media despite the fact that it’s a topic I write about constantly for you readers, albeit in my own special way. As a graduate student, all of my research papers posited social media as a postmodern phenomenon that further disconnected us from ‘reality’ and from each other, even as we heralded it as a magnificent tool meant to do the opposite. So count me in with Jonathan Franzen in regard to Twitter. And also Ted Kaczynski, aka the Unabomber, who clearly further legitimizes my viewpoint.
I’ll admit, however, that there are some things Twitter is good for, like professional athletes tweeting. The 140 character limit for athletes is ideal since they tend to talk in soundbites anyway – “We did our best. They were a tough team. We’ll be ready next time.” Also, if you didn’t have the 140 character limit, you’d have players writing Shakespeare-quality opuses that were just as long too. And if there’s anything we don’t need more of, it’s Shakespeare. So in the spirit of brilliant athlete tweeters, I’ve collected some of my favorite NBA player Twitters to share with you.
@JaValeMcGee34 (Javale McGee)
A knucklehead that did knuckleheaded things, like bouncing the ball off the backboard for a showboat dunk in a season when points were hard to come by for his lowly Washington Wizards team. But, there are positives – he was recently traded to the Denver Nuggets, where he can get off to positive new start, and he has an amazingly entertaining Twitter, where he routinely Instagrams personal photos, drops amazing pieces of wisdom and asks the serious questions we’re all wondering.
What is twitter really for? It’s really random and weird if u think about it. Y do I want people following me around while I follow them
I didn’t know men really tried on shoes and walked around to c if they fit! I thought u kno ur size u buy it and leave!
Orlando’s “Superman” devotes much of his tweeting to interacting with fans, and his Twitter personality is what you’d expect if you know his on-camera personality – mugging for the audience and exuberant joke telling, and all of it on the cheesy side.
@DwightHoward you be farting in public
– Female Twitter user
I’ll fart on u if u was with me. I bet to fart stank girls farts smell like eggs lol boiled
– Dwight Howard
Miami Heat player and injury drama queen Dwayne Wade’s Twitter is often personal and thoughtful, even when he’s responding to “haters.” Lately, he’s devoted his Twitter to protesting the Trayvon Martin murder.
@DwyaneWade wish i had something nice to say to you but i dont.
– Dwayne Wade “hater”
Sorry 2 hear that. I hope your day gets better
– Dwayne Wade
Follow two-time MVP Steve Nash because he’s awesome. End of story.
Many people doubting the org in the Kony vid. Spread awareness of this monster but do our own research of how we get involved. Get Informed.
The player formerly known as “Ron Artest” and “a good basketball player” spreads his own daily brand of crazy on Twitter. Metta, your Lakers were swept by the world champion Dallas Mavericks last year…. maybe you should focus a little more of your crazy on improving your free throw and 3-point field goal percentage this year. #justsayin
Girls my short shorts are for yal… Enjoy…. Guys mad …. It’s not for yal anyway and u should not b looking at my legs… That’s for her
I hope all my followers pee in the bed during a dream
@mindofAI9 (Andre Iguodala)
Philadelphia 76er’s forward Andre Iguodala is one of the best two-way players in the NBA, and also one of its tersest tweeters. Truth is, I just included him here because the two tweets below are profoundly wonderful.
Where the girl scout cookie be?
For real tho, who got the girl scout cookies tho???
@SHAQ (Shaquille O’Neal)
Okay, Shaq is retired now, but how could you not include the thespian that gifted us with movies like Kazaam and Steel? He gives us equal brilliance on Twitter.
@SHAQ u are a pig ! Puerto Rico is small but big on love !
– Angry Puerto Rican Woman
I’ve left off a lot of good NBA player Twitters. Which are your favorite?