3 Ads We Hope Tumblr Never Uses

Bad news Tumblr fiends of the world, during Ad Age’s Digital Conference in New York, Tumblr C.E.O, David Kamp announced that the blogging site will be featuring ads as early as May 2. In 2010 Kamp spoke with the LA Times about advertising on Tumblr saying, “It really turns our stomachs.” It turns out that ads don’t ruin his appetite that much seeing that Kamp had this to say about his quote from 2010, “I was probably being an idiot then.” Who can blame him though? Tumblr currently supports over 52 million blogs, which in the eyes of corporate investors, translates to big green money signs flashing in front of their vision.

NMR supports you Mr. Kamp and we don’t blame you for going back on your word. Hell, I once claimed that New Girl was, ‘the worst show I have ever seen,’ until I got hooked, now I can’t get enough of that wacky Jess Day. With our blessing, we ask of you one thing. Now that Tumblr is accepting ads, please do not succumb to using the following vomit inducing, garbage monster and nightmare fueling forms of advertising.

Flashing, Singing and Utterly Mystifying Ads

Now, I am not entirely sure what this ad for TransUnion is shooting for here. Are they trying to appeal to me because I love basketball or because my credit is equivalent to that of a toddler with a gambling problem? Not to mention the ad is attached to an article written by Dr. Peggy Drexler. I am fairly certain that Dr. Drexler, a woman with a PHD, did not go to many years of school, in hopes of having a cartoon man slam dunk a basketball inches from her face. Throw an ad like this next to any article and I’ll take it as serious as I take non-insanity lessons from Jose Canseco.

Sponsored Posts

This sponsored post by Toyota is informing me that, “I will never guess what celebrities drive a Prius”. They are correct in assuming this, because I could not give one rat’s ass about what kind of car Orlando Bloom drives, thus, causing me to never guess about it. Sponsored posts are a relatively underwhelming way to advertise online. Yet, when posted next to the great content on sites like BuzzFeed, a post about what animals love Pepsi or silly ways to eat a McRib look like the invention of a corporate think tank. A quick side note, Larry David does drive a Prius, which makes me hate this ad a little less.

Ads Tailored To Me

Ads that gather data from my location, searches and posts, like the ones seen on Facebook, are terrifying. Look, I am already deeply afraid of technology, what’s that, your not? How about you check out this post about robot prison guards in South Korea, then we’ll talk. I do not need to be constantly reminded that something is keeping tabs on my Web searches and shopping habits. Plus, when you see the same ad promoting Bagel Bites again and again, it serves as a grim reminder that maybe you should renew that gym membership.

What kinds of ads do you want or not want to see on Tumblr? Would you ever sell out like this to advertisers? I know I wouldn’t.

On an unrelated note, McDonalds, Bagel Bites, Jose Canseco, Robot prison guards, Larry David, Toyota, Pepsi and South Korea, I am available for sponsorship so please contact me @MatthewManarino.

Source(s): Forbes.com, BuzzFeed.comBusinessInsider.com, AdAge.com

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