NMR News Roundup: #Trayvon, Mega Millions and Fiona

Here are the top stories that trended most this past week.

More #Travyvon Martin

The Trayvon Martin case has continued to make top national headlines. Weekend developments include thousands marching in Sanford on Saturday in protest of the lack of an arrest in the case, and two top sound and voice analysts concluding that the voice heard screaming in the 911 recording belonged to Trayvon Martin and not George Zimmerman. In future news, God has offered Sanford police his eyewitness account of Zimmerman murdering an innocent teenager but Sanford police have refused to listen because they are dirty pagans.

Earlier this week in an act of digital vigilantism, director Spike Lee tweeted the address of George Zimmerman… only it was the address of Elaine and David McClaine, the elderly parents of one William George Zimmerman, who is completely unrelated to the case. Oops. Lee has had to publicly apologize as well as pay an undisclosed figure to the couple for their troubles. The lesson here: be careful what you tweet because it may have real life consequences. Unless it’s my tweeting, in which case I have no followers to see them and thus have license to tweet whatever I want without consequence.

Mega Millions

2, 4, 23, 38 and 46. Those were the winning numbers after countless poor people stood in long lines across 42 states to hand over their meager paychecks to a government-run casino game that promised a 1 in 175,711,536 chance of winning Bill Gate’s pocket money. The most repeated refrain this week was “if I won the lottery, I would _____,” so in the spirit of Mega Millions, if I had played and won the lottery, you wouldn’t be reading this or any horrible, stupid top 5 or top 10 or top anything list with my name on it ever again. Instead, you’d be reading my newly published autobiography entitled “I Hated You and Now I Have the Power to Destroy You.” Just open the book and don’t mind the ticking noise, Matt.


Aung San Suu Kyi and NCAA March Madness

Nobel Peace Prize laureate and world icon, Aung San Suu Kyi, has won a parliamentary seat in Myanmar. This could mean a more complete and authentic shift to democracy for the Southeast Asian country of more than 58 million which had long been ruled by a repressive military junta up until 2011.

In NCAA news, Kansas and Kentucky advanced to the championship game. In Alan Van news, I don’t care.

Top Video of the Week

My pick for top Youtube viral video of the week is “Fiona’s Amazing Story.” It’s on its way to a million view counts and beyond, so watch it and remember to always adopt your pet dog, unless you are a selfish ignoramus who desires and demands more dog and puppy suffering in the world.


Check out last week’s NMR News Roundup for more news.

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