Kanye Hates You: What Twitter Is Really Saying

I have been following MC Hammer on Twitter for a while, and here is what I have learned.

MC Hammer loves planes, hotels, technology and exclamation points













Now, when I meet MC Hammer I know exactly how it will go down. I will shake MC Hammer’s hand then I will shout everything I know about new IPhones until we become best friends.

Our Twitter accounts often say more about us than we intend them to. Every shared link or tweet is a declaration of the things we love, hate and lust over. Through my obsession with crazy people’s Twitter accounts I have uncovered what every maniac on Twitter is secretly trying to tell us.

Yoko Ono Is One Million Percent Crazy





Okay, maybe she is just on some next level thought, but I literally have no idea what that tweet is supposed to mean.





50cent Takes Shit From No One





What can you expect from a man who’s Wikipedia includes the following quote: “I was embarrassed that I got arrested like that… After I got arrested I stopped hiding it. I was telling my grandmother [openly], ‘I sell drugs.’” Incredible

Kanye West Hates Everything













Joe Budden Is Just Like You and Me









Cher Hates Making Sense













So does U.S. Senator Chuck Grassley










Tyrese Gibson Is Trying To Have Sex With You












Whoa, these tweets make me feel wildly uncomfortable.

Puff Daddy/P Diddy/ Diddy/ Has a Better Life Than You





I guess my invitation to Cannes Film Festival got lost in the mail. Thanks for rubbing it in Diddy.



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