This Week In YouTube: Everything Sucks Forever and Always

YouTube, acting as a mirror this week, exposed an actuality about humanity that we all knew was there but try not to think about too much. The truth is that we are all terrible, terrible people. This week in YouTube videos has been a grab bag of zombie attacks, corporal punishment, drunken shenanigans, teen shame, and cyborgs. If the week of May 3 is to be given a title, I would like to submit a proposal for it to be named “The Week of Infinite Bummers.” In case you missed the onslaught of heartbreaking and day-ruining YouTube videos, you’re in luck. I have compiled them all here for your viewing pleasure. Be warned as you stare into the void of YouTube; know that you may be staring at a piece of your own dark heart.  Also, in honor of Enrique Iglesias’ birthday today, I have included a video of him riding a jet ski with a dog.

Girl Cries After Adult Sized Tinker Bell Costume Gets Her Kicked Out Of Disney World

My first and probably favorite selection from this week’s shame-a-thon of YouTube videos comes to us from WKMG Local 6. In the above video, a 15-year-old girl tearfully explains that she and her squire were denied access to Walt Disney World after her Tinker Bell costume was deemed too good. Apparently, Disney has a rule against adult costumes that could be mistaken for official park mascots. In the masterful reporting, the anchor explains that even though the park offered her free clothing, “Spielman [the 15-year-old girl], who began the day looking like this [cut to her in adult sized fairy costume], says she spent the rest of her Disney trip looking like this [smash cut of her crying, still wearing fairy clothes].” Bravo (begins slow clap.)

Justin Bieber Fan Is The Stuff Of Nightmares

Okay, so Justin Bieber has a perfume that he is asking his lady fans to promote through their own “Girlfriend” versions of his single “Boyfriend” to which the winner–actually, who cares. Just watch the above video as one aggressive contestant smiles, threatens, and stalks her way into not only Bieber’s heart, but also America’s.

Boston Fans Continue To Be The Classiest People Alive

Hey, LeBron James. In game six at Boston, you scored 45 points and had 15 rebounds. You are a beast. People should celebrate your incredible athletic abilities. But of course, you were in Boston, birthplace of bad vibes, and instead, someone poured a drink on you. Stay classy, Boston fans.

Lamborghini Crashes. Everyone Loves It

$225,000 Lamborghini crashes into two cars while trying to show off. It is what we all wish would happen to people who buy yellow sports cars come to reality.

The way I feel about YouTube videos this week

As Promised

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