This is a tricky article for me to write because the Internet and YouTube have ruined ghosts for me. I want to believe in the supernatural, and yet, at no time since the invention of the video camera has anyone ever uploaded compelling or believable ghost footage anywhere. The video camera has been around since the 1930s! You mean to tell me that, in all that time, with all the electronic equipment, and all the people writing books and filming television shows, still no one can get good, compelling ghost footage? I call shenanigans. The same goes for aliens and Bigfoot. Especially Bigfoot (fuck that guy).
But guess what? Since it’s Halloween, I’ve managed to find some of the ookiest, spookiest footage that is out there. Try not to tremble in fear as you bear witness to all the evil catalogued below. And look, buddy, yes, I realize “3 guys 1 hammer” is a hell of a lot creepier than any of these videos, but we’re a goddamn family publication; twist your nipples elsewhere.
This is one of those vids where you’re like, “Okay, I don’t believe it’s real, but it still makes me nervous.” Any time you film something in that lowlit, handheld camera-jerking style you’re going to make a creepy video. I could film my grandma eating bacon in this style, and it would look like something straight from Hell.
Japanese “Mirror Ghost”
This is trick number two for producing a scary internet video. Have someone speaking in a foreign language throughout the video. As I cannot speak Japanese, I can only imagine that the father in this clip is authoritatively summoning the demon witch god from my nightmares. By the time I saw the ghost face in the mirror, I’d already worked myself into a nervous wreck of anticipation.
I’m going to ruin this one for you in the next sentence, so if you want to view the video unspoilt, as a newborn baby might see it, stop reading and do that now. Yes, this is one of those formerly cool, now obnoxious “demon face” videos. Still, if someone you know hasn’t seen it (my grandma), it is worth a watch. It breaks my heart in a way, because the footage of a rocking chair coming to life on its own is creepy enough without the “cheap thrill” pandering.
I can’t exactly tell what I’m watching here fully, as the filmmakers employ the jerking camera motions with the foreign language to really ratchet up the drama, but I know it is eerie. Some sort of Mothman thing has crashed in Spain, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about Mothmen things crashing to Earth — if you see one, go the other friggin’ direction!
Creepy Banned Children’s “Cartoon”
I can say with 100% sincerity that if the Devil is real, he made this video. I kept turning it off because I expected it to “lighten up” and disappoint me, but it never did! Aside from that Japanese suicide forest I wrote about, this is, for my money, the freakiest video on YouTube. Good God, claymation is sinister.