8 Extreme Budget Halloween Costumes For the Office

Budgeting your October expenses are hard enough without you suddenly having to figure in the cost of some store-bought, high-dollar Halloween costume for the office that you’re going to trot out for a few bullshit hours on a Wednesday morning and then discard once the novelty has worn off. Don’t buy in to the Halloween machine, brother-man — get creative. Just looking around the office here, I found a bunch of different ideas for badass … okay, serviceable costumes that will cost you nothing and your company’s supply room very little. You might not win 1st Prize in the office costume contest, but at least you’ll come off better than “Randy Meyerhoffer in Accounting” — that asshole was “too cool” to dress up.

Mickey/Minnie Mouse

The ultimate in faux-clever costumes just might be the one that also gets you sued by Disney. Still, you’ll be ballin’ it up, rodent-style, with all the office hotties who come in dressed as naughty kitties. Meow. Bonus points for this one, because you can steal other people’s food and blame it on “a mouse.” Hehehe.

What you’ll need:
-1 computer mouse
-2 paper plates from the kitchen area
-marker

Edward Scissorhands

You might not look like Johnny Depp, but you can sure dress as sharp as him. Moodiness and pale complexion are optional.

What you’ll need:
-tape
-2 pairs of scissors

Wolverine

With retractable “adamantium” claws you’ll be the most feared guy in the office. Your boss want you to hop on a conference call with the Des Moines office? Snick snack, no more phone. Need to collate the presentation handouts? Snick snack, no more handouts. Randy Meyerhoffer being a douche again? Snick snack, no more Randy.

What you’ll need:
-6 plastic knives from kitchen

“My Day Planner”

People will realize you really are overworked when they see this cheapskate ensemble that screams “social climber.” Hopefully you’ve got enough free time for a lunch with the CEO, because you’re going to be soaring up that executive ladder once he sees what a busy little bee you are.

What you’ll need:
-Post-its
-marker

Prophet of Doom

Stay one step ahead of the Aztecs with this sweet little number that makes fine use of that dry erase board nobody uses. And since it’s dry erase, your messages can get progressively nastier as the office party gets progressively drunker. Oh yeah, also work in an office where they serve booze at the office parties.

What you’ll need:

-dry erase board
-marker
-tape

“80’s Guy”

Everybody loves “Mr. Creative” right? Well this guy punches “Mr. Creative” in the balls with his outside-the-box brilliance. You’ll probably need to go around saying “eight e’s, get it?” more than you want to, but it will all be worth it when you look at your bank account post-Halloween and it isn’t overdrafted. Super bonus points if you hook up with a “seven d’s girl.”

What you’ll need:

-shirt you used to care about
-marker

Broken Condom

Whoa-oh! Hope that didn’t happen on your lunch break, you rake. Accidents happen, but the only accident you’ll have in this ultra-chic, ultra-cheap costume is an accidental overdose of awesome. Play on, playa, play on.

What you’ll need:
-1 large trash bag

Fluorescent Jedi Knight

I ain’t afraid of no Sith! Keep the “Dark Side” away with this fluorescent lightsaber. Everyone’s favorite space film just became everyone’s favorite office costume when you couple your lightsaber with that hoodie you use for your watercooler “rap battles.” Just don’t break the fluorescent bulb — seriously — I heard that shit gives you cancer. Cancer, bro!

What you’ll need
-1 fluorescent light bulb
-1 hoodie (optional)