Brad Pitt Sucks At Chanel Commercials — NMR Has Video Proof!

Being an advertising major in college, I used to wonder, “What is the worst commercial I’m ever going to see?” Like I would just lie there and imagine the absolute worst, most dogshit, pretentious piece of hackneyed pseudo-intellectual word vomit coupled with set decoration that has all the color tones of a dusty fart.

Surprisingly, this new ad that features Brad Pitt shilling “Chanel No. 5 For Men” is somehow worse than that. This is like “Tree of Life: The Commercial.” I feel like this is one of those embarrassing “big stars doing hokey commercials for Japanese cat food” kinds of things that we were never meant to see. There is nothing remotely interesting or appealing about anything he has to say, and he looks like he should be advertising a small-town mid-90’s drum circle. Jesus, Brad Pitt, pull yourself together … you have kids … they are going to have to endure this goddamned video when they are in high school. If Brad Pitt is doing this for the money, we are all fucked.

I want to strongly encourage people to think twice about watching this commercial as it has registered a “four” on the “Douche-meter.” Considering that nothing, “Jersey Shore” included, has ever registered past a one on the Douche-meter, that’s bad. You know what? I want you to watch — I want you to suffer as I have suffered. God, it’s just so douchey …

 

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