Cannonball On Ice: Two Videos of Infinite Fail

“Going viral” is one of the great mysteries of life. To ask what makes a video go viral is akin to asking “Why do fainting goats faint?” or “Why is Howie Mandelpopular?” There is no answer (none that I’ll accept as “science” anyway), and if there was, everyone would be doing it … going viral, not fainting.I’m starting a new feature here at NewMediaRockstars — every so often, I am going to show you fine readers a trending video that is awesome and/or funny and “going viral,” but then I am going to show you a similar one that is better but didn’t go viral. I’m calling it a “toofer.”

One of the most trending viral videos floating around right now is “Cannonball on Ice,” the hilarious footage of one German man’s attempt (and subsequent failure) to be an epic badass. He screams some German nonsense (probably something evil if I remember German history correctly), and touts his new band before leaping off a deck and not into, but onto, a frozen swimming pool. Hopefully, the venues his band plays at have wheelchair parking.

 

 

Now this other video is essentially the same thing, but it involves a fat kid. And fat kids are infinitely funnier because we are so much whinier and so much less athletically inclined. It was put on in 2010 and unfairly suffers from far less views compared to its time online. This is probably because there is a real cultural bias against fat people, and that extends to YouTube views as well (see how whiny we are?).

 

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