Rebecca Black and her ubiquitous music video “Friday” have, it seems, spawned a whole new online genre: music so demon-fucking awful it instantly creates a star out of the performer. Except, I don’t call these people stars, I call them “comets” because stars last, comets are fleeting. The latest comet is this female Kim Kardashian-with-too-much-foundation looking girl named “Gnesa,” (and if you have seen the amount of foundation Kim Kardashian uses [not that I, as a guy, know what foundation is], you know that this girl then, is on the verge of straight-up “pancake face”) who sings a nursery school-level love ditty called “Wilder.”
It is actually worse than that song “Hot Girl Problems” by Double Take, which attempted to fill the tremendous void left in “Friday’s” wake. “Hot Girl Problems” failed to do so, and so too will this video. But in the interim, we must all endure its presence, as media outlets, desperate to fill their 24-hour news cycle, will doubtlessly speculate, via talking heads, whether this is the new “Friday” successor. It isn’t, and it will be forgotten faster than Asereje’s “The Ketchup Song” was forgotten after the “Macarena” frenzy died down. ‘Til this dies out though, give it a listen (just one) and then go back to whatever the hell it is you do when you think no one is watching.