5 YouTube Videos To Help You Crush Your Enemies On Black Friday

Black Friday is almost upon us people. If you’re one of those “I’ll just shop online” hippies, I say, “great!” More flat screen TVs and bargain VHS copies of “Cobra” for the rest of us red-blooded Americans.

Like any great American pastime involving the gorging of one’s face with food followed by emotionally fragile settings (see football tailgating or watching “Cobra” at a drive-in theater), intense violence will surely follow.

Whether you are waking up at 4 a.m. like a maniac or just camping out in front of Best Buy like the lonely person you are, protecting yourself is priority one this Black Friday.

Below, we have compiled the best survival tips to help you conquer this Black Friday and crush your enemies like so many paper cups.

Learn Karate

Become a Master Outdoorsman

Practice Talking Shit

Have an Escape Plan

If All Else Fails, Remember That This Happend On Live TV

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