‘Breast’ Photo Milks Facebook on Decency Issues

So there’s this photo that’s been floating around the Internet the past few days.An attractive-ish young woman reclines in a bath with her huge, bodacious titties poking out … oh daddy rikee, daddy rikee a rot … wait! What do you mean the photo is of her elbows and not her breasts? And what do you mean my reaction is racist? Fuck this world, I’m going home.

You see, this audio-visual site “Theories of the Deep Understanding of Things” decided to run a little quality-assurance check on Facebook and posted the oh-so-nearly scandalous photo to see if it would get past the moderators. Unsurprisingly (to me, at least), it didn’t. That’s when everybody decided to call foul. Several sites, including Gawker, ran with the story, and Facebook, forced to eat some shit-pie (nobody eats Humble Pie anymore, it was found to contain that same stuff that gave you diarrhea from Baked Lays), re-admitted the photo a few hours later. This latest photo issue apparently comes amidst a Facebook hullabaloo regarding women not being able to post breastfeeding pics — I assume they mean with their children here.

Hey Gawker and other silly-named Tumblr site that posted the photo in the first place: this isn’t some super-global conspiracy. Mark Zuckerberg (the Zuck!) isn’t there, yaying and naying every Tijuana-infused horse photo you decide to toss up on his ginormous site. I’m sure it’s either some guy named Raheed (what do you mean that’s also racist?) who gets sacked with a list of 10,000 new photos to review for tits and the like, and he’s only got the briefest second to determine if each is inappropriate, or it’s a bewb-scanning software program with the sweetest algorithm on Earth. So no matter what, where you post a titty or a titty-looking photo, don’t be shocked that it is coming down. And don’t act all holier-than-thou about it either, because the photo only exists online because it is so deceptive on the first several glances (and — cough — several tissues later). Also, the website that posted the photo is flagged as a NSFW-type site. Sure the NSFWphotos are “artistic” (I love my job), but if you dance with the devil, you gotta listen to his bullshit story about the time he lost a fiddle contest (that’s how that aphorism goes right?).