So I’d made it this far into my life without ever watching the official Carly Rae Jepsen video for “Call Me Maybe,” but thanks to one scandal involving the teen singer and a Ukrainian skank-looking older woman warbling about banging Santa (I guess?), that record ended today.
Surprisingly, I enjoyed the Jepsen video — it was cute, simple and fun. The Ukrainian broad? Not so much. I get the vibe that she smells like stale crotch. The “scandal” goes something like this: The Ukrainian woman is a “singer” named AZA (wasn’t she in Wu Tang?), and is responsible for a song/video/generally awful thing called “Hunky Santa.” It came out in 2010. “Call Me Maybe” came out at the end of 2011, but only got big in 2012. AZA apparently alleged that Jepsen ripped off her song because “Hunky Santa” included the line “And call me; here is my number.” Because apparently nobody in the history of the world ever strung those syllables together in that context. If she somehow wins that lawsuit, my case against those aliens that “mind-raped” me should be a slam dunk.Anyway, in the midst of all this drama, somebody has flagged AZA’s “Hunky Santa” video on YouTube as “inappropriate material.” And according to web blogger Zennie Abraham, AZA’s lawyers are speculating that Carly Rae Jepsen did it to cover her tracks and make AZA’s vid harder to access. I think AZA’s lawyers got their law degrees from the same bodega AZA bought her “Mrs. Claus” outfit at.
AZA’s video should be flagged — she rides a bare-chested man around like a Ukrainian circus bear. If I had kids, I wouldn’t want them to see that — they might get the idea that any old hag can be a professional singer, instead of working as custodians in a sewage treatment plant, which is where they will doubtlessly end up.