Watch This: Star Wars’ Darth Vader Makes Disneyland Look Fun Again

I LOVE that the Mouse House bought LucasFilm and all its holdings. George Lucas had a couple good ideas back in the day, and he has since done everything in his power to shit all over his fans ever since. I don’t give a good goddamn what you intended the classic Star Wars films to look like, George. People grew up knowing that Han murdered Greedo, and they liked him better for it. Maybe now that some heartless business sharks in the guise of a “family company” have snatched up the rights to Star Wars (and Indiana Jones) maybe we can get some Blu-Ray releases that reaffirm our childhood beliefs?

Did you know that, after all that, I am not even really a Star Wars fan? I have a casual enjoyment of the series (except for that abortion that was Episode II), sure, but really I just don’t like to see good folks (even hardcore self-serious nerds) get dicked around. And yet, this new video promotional put out by Disneyland advertising their acquisition of LucasFilm has me wishing I was a kid experiencing the Magic Kingdom for the first time all over again.

Darth Vader and his two stormtrooper flacks have all of the otherworldly uncertainty of foreign tourists not quite up to date on the latest “technology,” and their odd attempts to “reason” with said technology speaks to a higher truth.

We’ve all been the “odd man out” in regards to something. Even if Darth Vader is an intergalactic badass, he still gets scared on the “Haunted Mansion” ride. I get scared sometimes too, Darth … maybe we’re not so different, you and me. So watch the video, people, and then marvel at the potential of future well-written Star Wars films. Even if they fuck it up completely, they can’t do anything to your heart that George Lucas hasn’t already done.


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