See, people have now publicly split themselves, Jekyll and Hyde-like, into two very different identities. Formerly this was only done in private (and often left one’s wife explaining that she “tripped down the stairs”), but now with Facebook and Twitter and the need to maintain an online presence, we are often more and more exposed for who we really are. But guess what? Guys and girls will say and do things if they think they can get laid. That’s not being phony — that’s just being human.
“Nice,” despite how the “Nice Guys of OKCupid” Tumblr moderator decides to portray it, is not black and white. You can still be “ignorant” about homosexuality and the like, and still be a pretty terrific person. Mother Teresa preached against condoms to Africans despite an enormous issue over there with AIDS. Birth control is against Catholicism, you see, but I’ll bet in spite of that “shortcoming” she was a damn nice person.
Nice is not a mutually exclusive trait, nor does it manifest itself in hygiene debates. One of the chief “weapons” the “NGoOKC” uses against guys is their belief that it is “a woman’s social obligation” to shave her legs. This action, whether women agree with it or not, was part of the cultural normative for the entirety of all living Americans’ lives. While it is not their “obligation” as the question states, it is a social action that is intensely familiar in the differentiations between men and women. I’m not judging it, but I am saying it is unfair to use as a watermark in the discussion of whether a guy is “nice” or not. Isn’t it equally douchey to judge a person based on their personal preferences? For some, shaved legs may be as big an issue, or bigger, than politics or religion. So what?
What I think has become a real frustrating issue in the war between guys versus girls, is that there is no real consensus on either side as to what the other side wants. It leaves both sides confused and keeps a lot of shitty magazines in publication. This issue exists because, chiefly, THERE IS NO REAL CONSENSUS. There is no longer an established list of boundaries, not even “Don’t be a convicted serial killer,” because those guys get tons of marriage proposals from women.
The reality is that statistically, there is someone out there for most people, even if they don’t believe it. I’ve got a buddy who is 27 and had never been on a date, never been kissed, nothing. Nice guy, but too shy and too much into his own head. He was pretty positive that he would find somebody some day though. And you know what? As I am writing this, he is out on his second date in a week with a nice girl, who’s probably a little bit desperate herself. But it doesn’t matter because she has boobies and will probably let him touch ‘em. I realize statements like that paint me pretty firmly in the “jerk” category as far as the NGoOKC Tumblr is concerned, but I am fine with that as I married a nice girl who herself can be a real jerk.
Imagine how yucky a Tumblr would be if it had pictures of girls responding to such loaded questions as “Does a big p*nis make for better sex?” or “Would you prefer to date a guy who outearns you?” Anybody can be made fun or made to look like a scumbag if you ask the right questions. That doesn’t mean Tumblrs like “NGoOKC” should be done away with, it just means that we, guys and girls, should look at them for what they are: bullshit entertainment.