Facebook Viral Homeless Man Back to Being Shoeless: F*ck You, Kindness!

This homeless guy just became my new favorite lunatic (yes, I collect lunatics. I shit you not, I once got a vintage ‘86 underwear-on-the-outside lady in mint “catpiss” condition).

The backstory is this: Lawrence Diprimo, an officer with the NYPD (you know with a name like that, he was either gonna be a cop or a mechanic), was recently photographed presenting a homeless guy with with a nice pair of $100 all-weather boots to keep him warm against the chill of a coming winter. After said photo popped up on the Internet, we all got a little warm and fuzzy.

But now, the New York Times has gone and tracked the homeless man, Jeffrey Hillman, down and he is back to shoeless. Wandering around Manhattan in bare feet, Hillman reportedly said he’d “hidden the shoes because they were worth a lot of money.” Also, he wanted “a piece of the pie,” because that photo was printed online “without his permission.” Ahh, how I love “crazy people logic.”

See, I’ve dealt with a few homeless people in my time, and I find that the vast majority of the ones I’ve encountered are “classically homeless” not because they are down on their luck, but because they are crippled by “mental issues,” let’s say (I say “classically homeless” with intent to people who live and camp out on the sidewalk, not car and shelter folk). This country has a bunch of social programs in place to aid people like Mr. Hillman, but the reality is, there are quite a few homeless people who won’t take said charity because they lack the capability to register the need (Or perhaps the need is misdirected? Maybe $100 shoes on the street were a liability, whereas a much cheaper shoe would have been appreciated?). Hillman though, is likely so scorched by the crystal meth demons feeding on his marrow, that he thinks he is currently in sunny Acapulco … or trapped in an underground maze and being chased by goblins. Either way, right now, boots clearly aren’t his biggest concern.

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