I think YouTube found a new purpose.
Crazy people are drawn to fame like flies to shit, and YouTube, with its easy access to viewers, has the distinction of collecting video evidence on these lunatics as they build their psycho resume. Case in point: Charles Ross, an 18-year-old Florida man (always has to be Florida) who was recently arrested while trying to film something “funny” for YouTube.
I put funny in quotations because he was being filmed giving wedgies to strangers. Now at first that might sound like a novel premise, something you might see on a kooky Asian game show or something, but the icky reality is that it is some scumbag guy coming up behind you and sticking his fingers into your underwear. And these aren’t clean Asian fingers, these are dirty white guy fingers. He’s probably even a scratches-his-crotch-and-sniffs-his-fingers kind of dirty white guy (I know because we recognize our own). And then he’s pulling your underwear up hard in public, shaming you because it was a bad wipe day or maybe because you’re wearing underwear you bought at a gas station and the elastic rips off. The bottom line is: these pranks are mostly funny until it happens to you (cue G.I. JOE logo and music).
This Ross kid is building up a pretty substantial online resume of awkward behavior. Check out his self-explanatory “kissing strangers” prank in which he drops lip locks on unsuspecting boys and girls. If I remember my FBI training (okay, this is a lie), the first step to being a freaky murdering predator is kissing strangers. The second thing is giving old people wedgies (it’s Florida after all, clearly some old people got pranked) and the third thing is shooting up elementary schools. So here’s the early warning, people — take notice. Of course, another possibility is that some production company could give him millions of dollars and a TV show for all this (after all, YouTube is paying him based on the 379,000 views generated by his “Kissing Strangers” — basically a sexual assault video). Ahh, America.