Furbies Are Fueled by Satan [VIDEO]

Back in 1998, the world was introduced to a revolutionary new toy that would capture the minds and imaginations of children the world over and subsequently clear out their parents’ wallets while doing so. I’m talking about none other than the furry and lovable Furby. If you didn’t have the chance to own one of these when you were younger, then I’m sorry your mom and dad hated you and frequently called you “the little abortion that got away” growing up. For the rest of us whose parents actually loved us, this “hamster or owl-like creature” was quite possibly the coolest thing, like, ever. With their adorable fluffy coat, flapping bird-like beaks, big bright eyes, and their whimsical made-up language, hours of fun were sure to be had by all. I was ecstatic when I first found mine under the Christmas tree that year. After stealing all the AA batteries from every remote control in the house, I flipped the switch on what clearly was the anus area of my new mechanical friend, and a joyous friendship between child and machine ensued.

Clearly, we were all duped by the folks over at Tiger Electronics. This toy, this … thing. It never went to sleep. And that creepy language? I couldn’t ever fully decipher what it was saying, but clearly it was some kind of demonic gibberish embedding satanic mantras into our young developing brains as we slept. This electronic abomination was obviously fabricated in the fiery gates of hell by the legion of Satan’s sinful sorrowed souls. No wonder it came in a pentagram-shaped box.

Thankfully, I wasn’t the only person who caught on to the fiery underbelly of the Furby craze. Our friend Mike Diva dropped a video this week exposing the true nature of these fluffy animatronic hell beasts. Watch below:

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