There is a particularly delightful niche in the long-standing tradition of online pranks: fucking with the pizza guy.
In the same canon as “fucking with the drive-thru people” and “fucking with security guards,” “fucking with the pizza guy” upholds the standard of the elitist (camera-owning) bourgeois mocking the caste system of the service class.
Our latest entry does everything perfectly — they set the mood of an uncomfortable situation (a common filmed ritual is to have an attractive girl answer the door in lingerie) and let the unaware pizza guy do the heavy lifting in terms of an emotional response. Here’s the thing though — this particular pizza guy owns the room. He isn’t going to be swayed by a bunch of mask-wearing weirdos listening to baroque chamber music while seated around a candelabra. He’s from Hoboken, goddamnit. Perhaps his finest moment is when, like a boss, he begins whistling the tune of the creepy song being played. I firmly believe this is what Dr. Dre would want him to do.
Can this be a turning of the tide though? Are the modern day “slaves” staging a passive revolt a la Gandhi? Are the days of mocking pizza guys soon to be a thing of the past?
Time will tell, but I knew it was a bad idea to let them have access to the internet.