Pope Benedict XVI has left the building.
In the fine tradition of rockstars and shamed presidents before him, Pope Benedict XVI resigned today from his papacy by exiting the Vatican in a sweet helicopter. His exit was so much like the end to “Predator” that it frightens me. Fortunately, someone posted the video to YouTube for your viewing pleasure (of the pope leaving … not “Predator” … though that would be awesome).
Benedict XVI is the first pope to resign in over 600 years. By that pattern, the next pope to resign will likely be Pope Zelchor XIV from the “‘Pepsi Presents’ Nebula.”
Kicking off a full-scale social media frenzy, the pope’s resignation was apparently covered everywhere but the official Vatican website, which reads like a Saltine cracker. Benedict XVI was known as the “cool pope” (by me, at least) for his adoption of Twitter, which he would use to communicate his edicts and inspirational messages with trendy Catholics everywhere.
Benedict XVI’s final tweet reads: “Thank you for your love and support. May you always experience the joy that comes from putting Christ at the centre of your lives”. The feed will now be suspended in anticipation of the next elected leader of the Catholic Church (c’mon, Mr. T).
The pope officially resigned over his “failing health,” but speculations abound that he was pressured out in regards to his role in the church’s ongoing kiddie-diddling scandal. Whatever the reason, the internet is sure to miss the most delightfully meme-tastic face they’ve seen since the Overly Attached Girlfriend.
If you want to see more of NMR’s fantastically comprehensive pope coverage, click here to read this hilarious “pope tweets” article I wrote that you bastards never bothered to read. Pearls before swine, goddamnit.