So over 700,000 people have now tuned in to watch Harry Stiles, a singer in the band One Direction, get nailed in the balls by a flying shoe. It’s a beautiful clip too because the band is onstage whining about one thing or another, and this shoe just comes sailing in and seems to kind-of-but-not-really hit him in the groinal area. And you’re like “Eh, that wasn’t really worth it.” He hardly even physically reacts; he just starts whining about the shoe throwing. And you’re about to turn the video off …
Then, like some bad 9/11 parody, a second shoe comes from out of nowhere to strike the south tower. And it hits hard. As a guy, I almost feel for him because Harry goes DOWN. God, he just totally drops like a bowling ball I threw off an overpass when I was sixteen and it killed that truck driver and I fled the scene and still wake up at night screaming from my guilt. Totally, totally like that bowling ball. Christ. [Jeff, trembling fingers, lights a cigarette] Christ.
In possibly unrelated news, Taylor Swift was allegedly seen leaving a One Direction concert barefoot …
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Harry stiles deserves it though. The big-headed arrogant cunt!!!!!!
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