Tired of Being At the Singles’ Table On Facebook? Get A ‘Fake Internet Girlfriend’ Today!

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As a single person, how many times have you been asked, “Are you dating anyone special?” Maybe 756 thousand times? You’re right, probably close to 1 million times — mostly asked from your grandma.

In the life of a single person, there are those inevitable, uncomfortable experiences we are forced to endure on a daily basis: being placed at the singles’ tables during group dinners, forced to watch the couples to your right and left gazing into each others’ eyes, the mismatched blind dates your friends attempt to set up for you, the awkward first run-in with an ex who has already moved on to a new relationship while your Facebook status says “SINGLE” in big, glaring letters. It’s a rough world out there for the loveless.

But it seems Cupid has been listening to the rants of his single subjects, and in an attempt to negotiate a truce, this little messenger of love has come to a solution for the single person blues with the online service Fake Internet Girlfriend. Their online site explains: “Have you gotten yourself in a situation where you need to come up with a girlfriend and fast? Then you have come to the right place! Fake Internet Girlfriend provides virtual girlfriends for clients all around the world. Above and beyond anything else our services are extremely discreet, and realistic. Nobody but you will ever know that your hot new online girlfriend isn’t real. All of our girlfriends are educated and professional and can appear to be in any sort of relationship you want.”

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Fake Internet Girlfriend offers clients two package options: the basic girlfriend package and the gamer girl package, which range from $250 to $350 a month. After signing up, users send in a description of their ideal girlfriend, and Fake Internet Girlfriend — a completely female-run site — creates a profile to begin interacting with you through Facebook, Twitter and online gaming. Your new and improved girlfriend will leave posts on your Facebook wall, call your secretary at work to leave you messages, and text you throughout the month. If you should choose to upgrade to the gamer girl package, your new girlfriend will participate alongside you in your favorite online game by advancing to your level and attending raids alongside you.

It is services like Fake Internet Girlfriend that make us take a step back and consider how social media is now playing a leading role in our relationships. It is no longer appropriate to simply share with your family and friends that you’re seeing someone but now you are expected to change your Facebook status and post photos of your dating adventures. The pressure to share our personal lives with the world has many men considering the services of Fake Internet Girlfriend as a way of avoiding the woes of singlehood.

So, the choice is up to you, gentlemen of the internet. My best wishes to you and your lady love — may you both live happily ever after.

 

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