A Taekwondo expert doing flips, high kicks and punches in a Spiderman costume might seem like internet catnip, but let me assure you, by watching this, you’re shaking the crazy tree.
This guy, GingerNinjaTrickster — I’ve seen this sort of thing before [Jeff takes a long pull off a pint bottle of Old Crow]. What happens is that you get bullied when you are little so you take self-defense classes. You like martial arts because it gives you confidence, and you stick with it. White belt, yellow, orange, blue, brown, black … you climb through the ranks fueled by a need for … something. And then, by the end of it, you realize there are no bad guys. You’ve fine-tuned yourself into a weapon, and yet, you have no outlet for your rage. You can only strike a punching bag shaped like a human torso for so long before it gets tired. And fake.
One day, you put on a mask for a “cute, fun” YouTube video. Sure, it gets a lot of views, but more than anything, you realize that mask gives you freedom — and anonymity. Since there are no bad guys, you decide to create one. You steal a few purses, and it feels amazing. Then an old lady resists, and you roundhouse kick her in the face. It’s a move you’ve done a thousand times before on your punching bag — a reflex by now, really. Only this time, her head comes clean off. And that night, you cum harder than you ever have in your life.
You realize what you really are: a monster. And you like it. So then, you do the only thing that comes naturally for a monster — you go to work writing for an online magazine.
For more footage of a killing machine, click here.