Normally this would be a simple, pleasant piece about the rapper Drake having made a viral video, but a couple incidents have gone down recently that make this “simple article” a cipher key for a shadow conspiracy. Hear me out.
Drake just released a music video for his song, “5 A.M. in Toronto,” through his Tumblr account October’s Very Own. The video went scorchingly viral — herpes viral, some might say. It’s a simple thing: just Drake and his fellas wandering the city of Toronto, which looks like a ghost town in the early morning hours. Hardly the stuff of enigmas, right? Even Drake was a bit surprised, tweeting out, “That might be my first viral video.” To the untrained eye, this is all a happy accident, but deep within the subtext, there might actually be a love letter from a Romeo to his Juliet. Don’t believe me? Well, check this out:
Recently, Rosie O’Donnell sent out a tweet which read, “Drake is cute … Nice muscles.” Of course, Drake, immensely flattered, retweeted her and then responded, “The fact that Rosie O’Donnell even knows who I am is the best feeling ever.” This might have been an interesting pairing between two unlikely star-crossed lovers (especially considering that she is a lesbian), but Rosie was quick to answer back with the follow-up: “DRAKE FROM JOSH N DRAKE ON NICKELODEON!!! NOT THE SINGER – THE GUY ON THE DIVING SHOW!!”
She was of course speaking in reference to Drake Bell, another former child star. But here is where things get crazy (and I do mean crazy). Drake Bell was an actor on the show “Drake & Josh.” There is a movie from the 90’s called “Josh & S.A.M.” about two kids who steal a car and try to go to Canada. Toronto is in Canada. And Drake, the rapper, knowing Rosie O’Donnell loves crappy kids movies, writes “5 .A.M. in Toronto.” What does 5 A.M. look like? S.A.M. So Drake, who is known for his incisive wordplay, is basically saying “Forget Drake Bell. Pick S.A.M. (i.e. Drake).” On second thought, this might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. YOLO though, right?
Also, when you get a chance, hit me back about this Amanda Bynes thing. If you want, we can throw Rosie in.