Russian Cat Sh*ts Cuteness With Its Vacuum ‘Blowjob’ [VIDEO]

 

Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine “cute,” whatever that means to you. Maybe it’s a person, maybe it’s an animal or an outfit? Whatever it is, just picture it right in the center of your mind’s eye.

Now that you’ve got your idea of “cute” implanted firmly, I want you to picture the worst, chunkiest bilious vomit you’ve ever seen — really nasty, rancid vomit. Because compared to the above YouTube video, that is what your previous notion of “cute” amounts to — festering puke.

Think I’m being extreme? I am not. This kitty playing with a vacuum cleaner is better than anything you’ve seen in your life (unless you pictured Grumpy Cat — Grumpy Cat conquers all) and will make your own pets seem joyless and bourgeois by comparison. Why don’t they love vacuum cleaners, goddamnit?!

What I like about this video is that it doesn’t dick around. It is short, adorable and then over. Get in, warm your heart and then out the back door, probably with your wallet. It is a Russian cat after all … what do you mean I can’t write that?

 

Here are some videos that can’t possibly compete in the “cute arena,” but they certainly try:

http://newmediarockstars.com/2013/04/dogs-wearing-pantyhose-meme-walks-line-between-cute-and-disturbing-gallery/

http://newmediarockstars.com/2013/04/viral-youtube-video-captures-confused-cat-posing-in-front-of-a-mirror/

http://newmediarockstars.com/2013/04/mondo-medias-happy-tree-friends-hits-50-million-views-exclusive-infographic/

  • Tagged with:

Comments are closed.