Tumblr ‘I Don’t Want Your F*cking App’ Puts Charlie Sheen’s Crazed Profanity Rants To Shame

Terence Eden, creator of the foul-mouthed blog “I Don’t Want Your Fucking App,” started the Tumblr because he had just about enough of — as he so eloquently puts it — the “fuckwittery” of websites pushing their apps on users before they even reach the website. For God’s sake, users just want to visit Dictionary.com without being bombarded by ads trying to get them to download the Dictionary.com app to our phone! Is that really too much to fucking ask?

To many, the pop-up ads are more unappealing than being on a first date with someone who spends all four courses talking about their failed past relationships (add a couple magic tricks in there and it sounds like my worst date story, but I digress). In “I Don’t Want Your Fucking App,” Eden pairs profanity-filled rants alongside caps of app ads blocking user access to websites.

“Imagine, for a moment, that you are in a mall and decided to walk into a shoe shop,” writes Eden. “The assistant comes up to you and says, ‘Good morning! Would you like to visit our website? It’s so much better than our shop!’ How ridiculous would that be? And yet, that’s what these websites do. They tell you to piss off and go elsewhere.”

As for the swearing, Eden finds it amusing to make over-the-top rants about seemingly insignificant moments. His justification: “It’s not big, it’s not clever, but it is authentic.” And I couldn’t fucking agree more.

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