New Myspace Relaunch Ad Sucks Worse Than Actual Myspace [VIDEO]

Myspace is BACK! And they just spent $20 million on an ad campaign to announce it. My only question: Now that they’re done with this initial ad, what are they going to do with the other $19,999,999.00 that they should have left?

This is the most generic commercial I’ve ever seen! This is the “Ralph’s plain wrap brand” of advertisements. As a former ad major, this commercial hurt my soul with its insipid banality. What made this uniquely Myspace? Pharrell messing with a crane-mounted video camera? This is doubtlessly the pitch meeting for this shit-stained wretch of a commercial that almost makes the Facebook stuff look clean by comparison: Ad Girl: “Hey, bands used old Myspace. Oddballs and skaters used old Myspace. People who like to break stuff and/or stand against the wall used old Myspace…” Ad Guy: “Fuck it. Throw ‘em all in together. It will be like a random party… but in limbo … and that high-pitched black guy will be there. Yeah, people will eat this shit with their fingers and beg for seconds.”

I could go for a Ralph’s plain wrap beer right now…

This is, quite simply, awful. I promise I’m not some anti-fun person. I’m not going to justify myself; just know that if you had a party like this, you wouldn’t want me there because I would get waaaay too drunk and use the “C word” as a pejorative. Losers like me love rowdy parties — and yet, this looks like a suckfest full of assholes made by the sort of assholes who go for gin-based drinks on rooftop bars. C’mon, Myspace. I’m here, I’m willing. Use your visuals to give me a reason to want to try to come back.

For more web-based advertising, check out these links:

Innovative Research Lab Opens With Claims To Help Brands Go Viral

Gillette and ‘Man of Steel’ Video Campaign Drops Some Next Level Marketing Steeze