Another day, another viral breakup. If there is one thing the misfits of the internet love more than celebrating Lil Bub’s birthday and watching newscasters get attacked by spiders, it is a very public and very bitter internet breakup. It’s just the best.
Uploaded onto Imgur last Wednesday, the “Why I’m Dumping You” list has since gone viral and won over the hearts of the single and bitter with its ridiculous — yet understandable — reasons why it was time to break up. “Snowdogs” being the person’s favorite movie? Dump. Telling your partner to “Put on something sexy, we’re going to Red Lobster”? Might as well shoot Cupid in the face right now and call it a day.
So here’s to you, newly single person, and may you never, ever, ever get back together.
Other magnificent breakups we’ve been able to witness: