UPDATE: 07/12/13 09:59 PST: An anonymous benefactor has posted the $500,000 bail to get Justin out of jail. In reality, the benefactor likely only had to put up 10 percent of the bail amount ($50,000) against the other 90 percent — meaning he’s only on the hook for the other $450,000 if Justin flees. Still, it is fascinating to speculate who this philanthropist is and what their motivations might be? I’m kind of thinking some next-level Bill & Ted-style shit, where it is “Future Justin” who came back in time to bail himself out. No, wait … I guess if he had access to time travel, he would go back and stop himself from making the comments in the first place … unless … the comments are necessary because they are the catalyst for Justin inventing time travel in the first place — Oooh! Damn.
19-year-old Texas resident Justin Carter is having some serious shit luck lately. Already we’ve reported that he’s been in jail since February for joking on Facebook that, ”I’m f—ed in the head alright. I think I’ma shoot up a kindergarten and watch the blood of the innocent rain down and eat the beating heart of one of them.” That got him put in prison on charges of making terrorist threats. Then he couldn’t afford the $500,000 bail set by the judge, who was unimpressed with his family’s assertions that the boy was only joking. Lately he’s been getting beat up and harassed by other prisoners (to my mind, I immediately think that they rape him in the shower and/or steal his fruit cup off his food tray — I’ve seen too many prison movies though); this got him moved to solitary confinement. And now, reports are surfacing that the boy is so depressed, he’s been put on “suicide watch,” which means they’ve stripped him of his clothes and sheets and only given him a thin hospital-style gown to wear.
All is not lost for the boy though — his mother put a petition up on Change.org which has since accumulated over 99,000 signatures, and a T-shirt company is selling “Free Justin Carter” shirts with the proceeds going towards Justin’s bail. Further, he’s got a hearing coming up on July 16, so we’ll know more about the boy’s future then. He’s already rejected a plea deal to serve eight years, so for now, he has to hope that a jury of his peers will have a better sense of humor than the state of Texas.
How fucked would it be though if I bought one of those T-shirts only for Justin Carter to make bail and then he DID shoot up a kindergarten and eat one of the kid’s hearts? I’d be pretty bummed about that. I probably would only wear that shirt once in awhile after that …
Here are some more social media jailbirds: