There are few things more delightful than the tears of unfathomable sadness from an entitled whiner. Seeing fussy brats realize the world is not a fair place is like a blowjob on Christmas. Quite simply, it’s fantastic.
This woman is emotionally devastated because she spent all day at the Washington Redskins training camp and didn’t get an autograph. That’s it. Nobody put her baby in the microwave, nobody crippled her dog, she just failed to get an autograph. Do you know where “failure to get a Redskins autograph” falls in the pantheon of human tragedies? Right behind “That fart didn’t come all the way out, now I feel like there’s a bubble or something.”
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