Oh Say Can You Suck – The 5 Worst Renditions of ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ [VIDEOS]

The world is chock-full of would-be Mariah Careys, Whitney Houstons and Frank Sinatras. But for every one of them, there are thousands of lousy singers who just don’t quite have the chops. “American Idol” is usually the first indicator that they aren’t “going to amount to anything” in the entertaining field, but that doesn’t stop people from trying. Every country fair, sporting event and public spectacle then becomes a potential arena for a public mangling of our country’s anthem.

Fortunately for us, YouTube is like the Library of Congress for terrible renditions of the “Star-Spangled Banner.” In honor of the birth of our country, here are the 5 absolute worst:

5. Girl Falls On Her Ass After Botching “Star-Spangled Banner”

In the course of this list, we cover “Star-Spangled Banners” from soccer, baseball, basketball and some cop-related thing. But hockey games are arguably the most dangerous place to perform our national anthem because of the high slip factor that is high heels on polished ice. It’s perhaps a fitting revenge for this girl that she eats shit after not knowing the words to the song, but at least she doesn’t try to fake it like the next guy on the list.

4. Tragic Police Officer

God, I hope this wasn’t at some cop funeral or something … the best images of this video come from the other officers who stare in stunned silence, try not to laugh or, perhaps, don’t even realize that this guy is completely singing the wrong words. It’s one thing to come out and do a bad job, it’s another thing to not even know the words to your own country’s anthem. Chattanooga, Tennessee, you shamed America a little bit that day.

3. Carl Lewis

You know you flat out suck at singing when after a glorious Olympic career full of video highlights, your “Star-Spangled Banner” performance is the first vid to come up when your name is entered on YouTube. Maybe we’re just a nation of assholes who love to pile on and exalt a celebrity’s shortcomings over their triumphs, or maybe you should just never ever sing in public again?