Snapchat’s First-Ever Press Release Defied Logic, Was Worse Than All ‘Twilight’ Films Combined

Although Snapchat on face value seems to exist solely for the purpose of taking pictures of one’s bits, everyone keeps telling me that the application is totally just for fun photo sharing … sure thing, you animals.

In its modern iteration, Snapchat has several definitions for how and by whom it should be used, but back in 2011 the app’s founders had a much more specific purpose in mind. According to the app’s first press release, which was unearthed by Gawker sister-blog ValleyWag, Snapchat was originally built for young women terrified about the utter permanence of digital photos.

Originally christened with the good-but-not-Snapchat moniker Picaboo, the app’s press release reads like something straight from a bubblegum-tinted Wet Seal commercial, only this time much more nudity is implied.

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Gems from the press release include: “Who actually wants every photo of themselves to last forever in the record books? Umm, not us?” And the utterly, utterly confusing, “catch your best gay [friend] finally cuddling up with that straight guy at a party!” Wait, what the fuck.

Also, master penman Reggie Brown repeatedly switches out the word “b*tch” for “betch,” which, is just beyond words and can only be accurately summed up by this GIF.

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2011, what a horrible year.

 

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