There should be a rule — whoever debuts the Halloween costume “gets” the costume. There should be a website where you have to register your costume in advance — at least regionally. Every year, there are enough pop culture references to go around, and yet people always latch onto the same basic prototypes for mass appeal. It’s like these people have enough creativity to not buy those shitty, overpriced commercially packaged costumes (pregnant nun, anyone?), but they don’t have enough creativity to speculate that someone else might choose the same “outside-the-box” costume. And you know what sucks the most on Halloween? Getting murdered. Short of that though, it’s pretty much when someone else is wearing the same “original” costume that you brainstormed up, and they’ve done it better/look hotter doing it. And we’ve all had the internet for a while (sorry, Somalia), so don’t think we don’t know what other people are doing at other parties as well. While all the big Halloween festivities mostly already happened this weekend, don’t show up to your office party on Thursday looking like one of these 7 overused costumes, because there’s a good chance you won’t be the only one.
7. 50 Shades of Gray
One of this year’s biggest “I thought I’d be the only one”surprisers, guys and girls alike have latched onto the cheapest costume of all time. To make a 50 Shades of Grey costume, steal a few of those painting color swatches from your local hardware store and tape them to a shirt. That’s it. If you want to win the originality portion of the “50 Shades of Grey” costume contest (yes, this year it’s got its own separate contest), add some handcuffs. Congratulations, you’re one of the millions of people in America who officially sucks at Halloween.
6. Edward Snowden
This, by far, is the go-to “frump costume” for thin, white nerds who want to go to parties but don’t really want to put in a lot of effort. Thick glasses, a briefcase full of “leaked classified documents” and poof! you’re Edward Snowden. This costume is actually worse than the “f**k it” guy who goes in blackface (incredibly, this year it was Julianne Hough — damn, whoops!). At least that guy has the racial insensitivity to go with his lack of originality.
5. James Franco’s Character in “Spring Breakers”
Surprisingly, there are a lot of girls pulling this costume off — I think it’s the cornrows that are stymieing the fellas, but don’t think that as a female you can circumvent the “sexy rule” by being James Franco’s character, and not one of his “robber girls” in ski masks and bikinis. If you are going to be unoriginal, at least do it in a way that we don’t get all grossed out by your fake metal grill.
To me, Waldo is a placeholder. He signifies all those lame-ass costumes that get trickled out year-after-year, despite being well past their freshness date. Waldo hasn’t been a good costume in at least 15 years (and besides that, there is at least one person dressed as Waldo at every music concert I go to). Waldo is just the poster boy for the people who go to Halloween parties as child-molesting priests, dead Michael Jackson or suicide bombers. Really? In 2013, that was the best that you could come up with? Damn.