NMR occasionally gets a reputation as being snarky and facetious, but that is only because we are society’s mirror, held up to reflect you soulless assholes. If every one of you made videos like Simple Pickup (and VitalyZDTV) in which you did good things for the world and its inhabitants, well then, we would be a shining, happy beacon of goodwill and puppy farts. Here we finally get some resolution on what Simple Pickup did with all that dirty, dirty money they got from motorboating some bazooms. This breast cancer survivor and single mother of three kids, Crystal, who’s recently seen her cancer resurface, became the recipient of $14,000 in cash from the guys of Simple Pickup — $7000 raised from the original video and another $7000 from an anonymous donor. In the end, though I think the cancer foundation (and those who complained about Simple Pickups methods) are morons, this might all have worked out for the best because, as Jesse points out, the guys got to have a really personal experience with someone who could truly benefit from that money directly (instead of disappearing into some board of directors’ salaries).
Good work, guys (Jeff starts a slow clap, realizes he’s the only one clapping, keeps clapping anyway).
Here’s more Simple Pickup to warm your hearts: