Science Calls It: Facebook Losing Teen Users At An Alarming Rate

iStrategy Labs has some grim statistics to report on Facebook: it’s losing its cool … fast.

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Of course we knew Facebook was diminishing in popularity, but it isn’t like polar ice caps melting, it’s more like popsicle on a hot day melting. At this rate, Facebook could achieve a rating of “Myspace” by the time you say “Tumblr.”

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Now don’t take the statistics to mean that Facebook is dying — on the contrary, it’s seeing record growth: from senior citizens. The 55+ category is exploding, according to iStrategy Labs, the website who apparently monitors this stuff. The amount of old people on Facebook is up 80.4 percent over the last three years, while in that same period, teens (13-17) have declined 25.3 percent. Essentially, Facebook has lost three million young customers to Quora, Tumblr, 4chan or, most intriguingly, nothing at all.

What does this trend forecast? Well, perhaps nothing, but perhaps the end of social media as we know it. Think of social media like macrame. Do you know what macrame is? No? Well, your parents did. They loved macrame. They used to make lamps out of that shit. Then the generation between your parents and you decided cocaine was a hell of a lot cooler than macrame. Social media is macrame. Now, we just need to find our cocaine and we’ll all be in business.

Here’s more social media “analysis”:

How @ Replaced # As the Coolest Symbol on Twitter, Facebook and Now Tumblr …

5 Good Reasons The New Myspace is Doomed

Jessi Slaughter is Now A Boy Named Damien: Is Internet to Blame? [INTERVIEW]

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