Isn’t it weird how internet trolls always look exactly how you’d expect them to? Doughy, unattractive middle-aged white guys, all of them. It’s just like how when I read about someone celebrating their Quinceañera and I just know it’s going to be, like, a 15-year-old Hispanic girl. Uncanny.
An internet troll in England was sentenced to eight weeks in the pokey for using Twitter to make fun of a teacher’s stabbing death. Amongst many, many other comments, the troll, Robert Riley, 42, bragged that he would not just have killed teacher Ann Maguire, but ALL the teachers at the Corpus Christi school in Leeds, England. Riley, from a different part of the country, had no affiliation with the school — hence his “troll” status.
In addition to his less-than-sensitive comments about Maguire, who was stabbed to death in front of her class just before a Spanish lesson (to think, those kids will never learn what a Quinceañera is), Riley who goes by the handle “Bucketmouth,” also had “charming” things to say about the Holocaust, black people, genocide and plane crashes.
Of course, despite his bravado online he was emotionally prostrate before the magistrate, begging for leniency. It didn’t come.
Riley is actually the third person in England to be charged for making obscene comments about the stabbing. All I can say is whether I think his comments are funny or not (some are, some are lame) I am so glad to live in America, what with our first Amendment rights to be Twitter trolls.
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