Wal-Mart Ice Cream Sandwich WILL NOT MELT! [VIDEO]

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So YouTube is all in a tizzy over this video of a Wal-Mart “Great Value” brand ice cream sandwich that refuses to melt despite being left outside in 80 degree weather for 75 minutes.

I might be a little more disgusted had I not had two hotdogs covered in jalapeno jelly (I was out of ketchup) washed down with artificially-flavored strawberry soda for breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon.

See, there is an entire culture of people that this food is made for: disgusting people who need genetically modified crap to address our special, awful diets. I need an ice cream sandwich that can put up with my wretched lifestyle. If anything, this video plays like an advertisement. I’ve never bought an ice cream sandwich from Wal-Mart in my life — now I am going to buy them all.

Look kids, cave people ate veggies and real meat and they died in their 30s. We eat this hell food and scientists are postulating that someone already alive today will live to be 200. Nightmare food is good for us. Eat up.