‘Christmas Jammies’ Family Returns With ‘Back To School’ Rap

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The Holderness Family, YouTube’s upper-middle-class, wholesome towheads who put their stamp on the Yuletide season with their viral hit “Christmas Jammies,” is back … back to school, that is. Now they’ve cannibalized Sir Mixalot’s ode to big asses in favor of their more family-friendly lyrics. Or they’ve cannibalized Nicki Minaj’s cannibalization of Sir Mixalot, “Anaconda.” Either way: sigh.

Don’t get me wrong, these videos are very pleasant and well-meaning. But they feel like one of those letters you get once a year from far off relatives that explain how everything is going. And you just. don’t. care. But of course the Holderness’ rachet their annual letter up to a 10!

God, they probably color coordinate their beachwear and eat polite portions of fudge-flavored Jell-o while sitting around listening to NPR on warm Autumn nights. I can’t wait ‘til they make a family version of “Tits Down, Ass Up” that teaches the value of going to the dentist.