Without getting too explicit about the birds and the bees and how sometimes the bee has too many stingers or not enough, or the bird and bee both have stingers … or one of the many, many other issues, just understand that sometimes people can’t get preggers. Even if they would be AMAZING parents — like Mark and Elisabeth Gardner.
Of course, where some couples would lapse into depression and spend their post-collegiate years drinking lattes and passive-aggressively mocking other parents at the mall, Mark and Elisabeth have discovered a different and more progressive route. You know how people use the internet to raise money for boob jobs and potato salad? The Gardners are crowdfunding a baby!
Starting their website ExStorktion.com, the Gardners have created one of the cutest and most social media-friendly ways of gaining a baby — short of stealing one from the hospital, that is (NMR does NOT recommend trying this). By posting short photo bios about themselves and an explanation of what they are attempting, the Gardners are hoping that you will realize that they definitely deserve to be parents and you will help them achieve their goal.
The bottom line is this: adopting a child, whether domestic or international, is expensive. And you can stop right there with the jokes about how if they can’t afford to adopt a baby, how can they afford to raise a baby? Because adoption is EXPENSIVE — like ridiculously expensive. Part of that reason is to prevent someone like me from acquiring free labor, but also there are regulations and agencies and lots of hoopla that requires big up-front fees.
Sure they might dress up their pets from time to time:
Or do … whatever the hell this is:
But at the end of the day, they would clearly be loving parents and NMR thinks we should all help them out.
You can donate in one of several ways: you can make a direct donation to their PayPal account here, you can make a pledge to one of the events they are participating in here, or if you are one of those grinch-y types who needs something in return for your money, you can buy one of their homemade holiday cards.
Look, NMR loves Mark and Elisabeth, and you should too. Hell, even if you don’t, you can’t deny that the two of them would be terrific parents and that there is some child out there in the world that would benefit ENORMOUSLY by their love.
If not for them, do it for the kid.
And be sure to share this article so that these two awesome people and their story gets the attention it deserves!