NSFW? Simple Pickup Is Hiding FleshLights Full Of Money

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I often wonder … what is the best headline I could ever write? I think I finally have my answer.

Back in college I managed a couple sex shops and became well-acquainted with artificial vaginas. And yet, I never found one with $100 inside … so Simple Pickup, working in conjunction with the Fleshlight, have created something majestic.

Their plan? Stuff $10,000 worth of hundred dollar bills into Fleshlights (the premium name in fake snatch) and hide hundreds of the f**kers all over L.A. and its outlying areas. Then, your job is to follow the Simple Pickup guys on social media for clues as to where you can find your very own sex tube.

Now the contest doesn’t officially start until Oct. 25, but there might be some early bird-type shit if you’re lucky. Get to know the hashtag #Fleshcash very very well. And if you don’t live in Los Angeles, get familiar with your “Like” button because they will repeat the promotion in a different city for every 50,000 likes they get.

As I mentioned before, Fleshlights aren’t cheap — they’re the gold standard in artificial vagina — so to find one with a hundred dollar bill inside … that’s like finding … well … I don’t know, you try and conjure up a simile that’s better than finding a pussy full of cash, cuz I can’t.

And just in case you’re one of those mopey types who could really benefit from faux gash and a little real cash, but feel you aren’t lucky enough to find one of the initial 200 Fleshlights being stashed — for every hundred thousand views the vid gets they will hide an additional Fleshlight with $100 in it. So potentially, if this contest is a hit (and it damn well ought to be), eventually the Simple Pickup guys might just stash one in your mailbox.

Still, visit them on Facebook or Twitter to increase your odds though …

And share the f**k out of this article because this article could actually wind up in your ability to f**k!