Tomorrow is Halloween, so for this week’s #TBT, we’re shaking it up a bit and bringing you a step-by-step checklist to make sure you’re adequately prepped for the day. And night.
Step 1: Scare Yourself With These Videos.
Alright so when you ask me what I think is scary, this is the most horrifying video I can think of. It has every element of terror in regards to what scares me.
The film was created for the ‘Who’s There’ BC Horror Challenge. The director, David F. Sandberg, won for Best Director in the contest. More importantly however, his film has made it so that I will absolutely never turn my lights off again. Ever.
Halloween week has brought an embarrassment of creepy riches to the internet we call home, and we’ve been overdosing on horror shorts all week. So when our tyrant overlord…I mean…beloved Editor-in-Chief told us to find something sickeningly scary for this week’s Throwback Thursday I wanted to think outside the box. There’s a ton of hugely inventive and crazy horror projects out there from the usual suspects on YouTube, but other platforms deserve a chance to get in on the fun too.
For this week’s Throwback Thursday, I’m throwing it all the way back to two weeks ago and the release of short film “Take Care Of Me.” It’s a horror thriller that perfectly builds a sense of unease to keep you on the edge of your seat, and it does it all on Instagram. The film comes in 12 parts and uses Instagram’s 15 second video time limit to pack each installment with suspense. Creator Jaiden Frost brings new meaning to the words short film, using a totally innovative storytelling device. We’ve embedded the first chapter above for your viewing pleasure. You may want to flick on a light before you click play.
Alright, alright, I’m kind of cheating with this one because it’s not “ahhh!” scary, but thought I searched YouTube far and wide for something fitting that criteria, I was unable to find anything that did the job. So instead, you’re getting this blurry, unofficial upload of Geri Halliwell’s cover of “It’s Raining Men.” Hallelujah.
This, to me, qualifies as scary for two reasons. The first being that this single is the first time I can recall being forced to acknowledge that Geri wasn’t going to realize her grave mistake and return to the Spice Girls. And the Spice Girls splitting up was hands down the most traumatizing moment of my entire childhood. “Friendship never ends?” Friendship is nothing but a lie to further your own agendas, you lying liarfaces. I’ve never believed in anything since, with the exception of inevitable disappointment.
The second reason this is terrifying is, because, “It’s raining men?” Really? Not only do the logistics of that make it incredibly hazardous for anyone not living underground, but like, don’t we already have enough men? Do we really need more? Can’t it rain metaphorical tools to dismantle the patriarchy instead? Or how about alcohol? I’d be fine with it raining alcohol.
And now that we’ve thought of that, we know what it could be instead. What could be better. And isn’t knowing there’s a better option while being saddled with something far less satisfying the scariest thing of all?
So scary you guys.
Step 2: Watch NMR’s Halloweek Videos.
The Clown and the Babysitter
Step 3: Check Your Costume.
Make sure you aren’t trying to rock one of these. Seriously, just don’t.
If you are… it isn’t too late! You can do better. The internet is a wonderland of last minute costume ideas. Go forth and prosper… or at least dig through the bins at Goodwill until you find something passable.
Step 4: Stay the Hell Away From Scary Creepsters.
Step 5: Have Some Damn Fun. It’s Halloween!
Chill with your friends and family, eat all the frickin’ candy you can stomach, and don’t forget to watch at least one deliciously frightening (or horrifically hysterical) movie. ‘Tis the season, after all!