Since we’re weekend warriors now, it only makes sense that we break from the pack and engage in some rampant free-thinking. Pretty soon YouTube and Hollywood should completely merge and we will be seeing our favorite YouTubers starring in our favorite TV shows and movies. Of course, until that point, we can only speculate on what might have been had this merger happened 10, 20 or 500 years ago. So every weekend, we take a pop culture movie and recast it with YouTubers who we think might have worked perfectly in that role.
This week: Star Wars: Episode IV
Why just episode IV you ask? Because the Star Wars universe(s) is so vast that we would hate to spend all our load for the series in one go. Besides, you’re certainly going to take issue with our choices and demand some re-recasting. Plus “The Empire Strikes Back” is the real jewel in the crown as you are casting a more brooding Luke as well as fan-favorites Yoda, Lando and Boba Fett. But Episode IV of the Star Wars collective has some great stuff too. And with the trailer for The Force Awakens dropping, this is a perfect week to speculate on the people who came before and whom they would be played by.
If you don’t know the Star Wars origin story by now, too damn bad. Go read somebody else’s weekend content. This one is for the fans. And for that reason, we’re casting the CLASSIC version — not the bullshit with Jabba added. Here are our choices:
Played in the movie by: Mark Hamill
Played in our version by: Steve Zaragoza
Ah, the young upstart with much to learn. Steve represents sort of the eternal youth of YouTube, even with his “scruffy nerfherder” beard. Steve, like Luke, is a little small for a stormtrooper, but he’s destined for bigger and better things — and once he trusts in the Force, he’ll be unstoppable. Although unlike Luke, I hope Steve’s sister never hard-kissed him.
Played in the movie by: Harrison Ford
Played in our version by: Ryan Higa
Let’s get one thing straight: Han shot first. And that makes him a cold-blooded swaggering space pirate. And as far as those traits on YouTube goes, NigaHiga is Han Solo. He’s cool, collected and has saved more than a few asses in his time on the YouTube circuit. This one will probably be the most controversial choice, but for my money, Ryan Higa fits Han to a “T.”
Played in the movie by: James Earl Jones and David Prowse
Played in our version by: Harley Morenstein
Like I said, Harley Morenstein is our John Ratzenberger — he fits into everything we do, and there’s always a place for him. Even if he wasn’t though, could you see anyone else on YouTube playing the ultimate baddie better than Harley? AND (SPOILER ALERT) though it doesn’t happen in Episode IV, can’t you totally see Harley being Steve Zaragoza’s dad? Even though they probably aren’t that far apart in age, this is beautiful.
Played in the movie by: Alec Guinness
Played in our version by: TotalBiscuit
It takes a Cynical Brit to effectively play a cynical Brit and for that, TotalBiscuit is the man supreme. Imagine him taking Steve Zaragoza under his wing, educating him in the ways of YouTube … err, the Force.
Played in the movie by: Carrie Fisher
Played in our version by: Shanna Malcolm
Sweet but hard as nails. No way would Shanna be a damsel in distress — she’s a born rebel leader with awesome hair who would shoot the cover off a garbage pit and go diving in headfirst … in fact I think she did that as one of her channel’s challenges. Shanna would be a sassier version of Princess Leia, but she’s definitely royalty. And as far as her being Steve Zaragoza’s twin sister in the third one? Umm, they had progressive parents.
C-3PO & R2D2
Played in the movie by: Anthony Daniels & Kenny Baker
Played in our version by: Smosh
The bickering best friends? Anthony Padilla and Ian Hecox were born to play the shiny heart & soul of space. And just like C-3PO and R2D2, they’ve been around their universe for a long, long time. The hell if we’re going to tell them who plays who though: we’ll let them fight it out.
Played in the movie by: Peter Mayhew
Played in our version by: Darren Morenstein
Thought you’d see Harley here, huh? Nope, he’s too perfect as Darth Vader. Fortunately, the stout Canadian has a nearly-as-stout brother, who is equally (hir)suited to the role. Though he’s more behind the scenes, Darren is a part of the Epic Meal Time family and most definitely qualifies.
Played in the movie by: Paul Blake
Played in our version by: Onision
Whiny “bad guy”? Look no further than the star of “I’m A Banana.” Onision would totally be a self-interested bounty hunter in the world of Star Wars.
Played in the movie by: William Hootkins
Played in our version by: Boogie2988
You’d think we’d be more mature than this bit of stunt casting, but, well, here we are.