Since we’re weekend warriors now, it only makes sense that we break from the pack and engage in some rampant free-thinking. Pretty soon YouTube and Hollywood should completely merge and we will be seeing our favorite YouTubers starring in our favorite TV shows and movies. Of course, until that point, we can only speculate on what might have been had this merger happened 10, 20 or 500 years ago. So every weekend, we take a pop culture movie and recast it with YouTubers who we think might have worked perfectly in that role.
This week: The Breakfast Club
Okay, I’ve wanted to recast this movie with YouTubers for a while. All of them have already fallen into place in my mind time and time again, so it’s pretty exciting. For once, someone with more ambition than me needs to get off their lazy ass and make this thing happen. I promise to torrent it if it does get made though, so there’s that. Also, like the original, my version is cast with kids who are clearly way too old for high school.
If you aren’t familiar with this John Hughes classic, you need to jump on Netflix stat, because it is one of the most iconic films to come out of the 80s. Starring key members of the Brat Pack, including Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson and that guy who was in Mighty Ducks (Emillllliooooo!), The Breakfast Club is the story of five high school tropes locked in a room together for Saturday detention: “You see us as you want to see us…in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal.” And don’t forget that closing where the Simple Minds song, “Don’t You Forget About Me” plays. Damn, it’s just about perfect. But my version would be BETTER:
Played in the movie by: Judd Nelson
Played in our version by: VitalyZDTv
The bad-boy criminal. John Bender is the plum role in The Breakfast Club. He was the guy that every other guy wanted to be — the badass who simply doesn’t give a f**k. Who does that sound like on YouTube? If you said VitalyZDTv, well, you’re exactly right. Vitaly alone has the swagger to be this much of a troublemaker and to piss off the principal, Richard Vernon.
Played in the movie by: Molly Ringwald
Played in our version by: Michelle Phan
The princess. She’s so straitlaced and goody two shoes she doesn’t belong in Saturday detention with the likes of John Bender. But since she’s here, she might as well learn that she’s not as perfect as she thinks she is. And who on YouTube could learn that lesson better than a style queen? Michelle Phan would do nicely here.
Played in the movie by: Emilio Estevez
Played in our version by: DevinSuperTramp
The balls-to-the-wall athlete. True athlete types are few and far between on YouTube, you’re much more likely to find bookish Brian Johnson-types, but DevinSuperTramp is exactly the guy I would imagine doing a handstand on a two story railing. And taping somebody’s butt cheeks together to land him in detention in the first place.
Played in the movie by: Anthony Michael Hall
Played in our version by: Tyler Oakley
Did you think someone else was going to play this part? Tyler Oakley now IS Anthony Michael Hall then. Anthony Michael Hall was white hot in the 80s and played a damn nerd every. single. time. Lucky for Tyler, nerds are very cool in the 21st century.
Played in the movie by: Ally Sheedy
Played in our version by: Olga Kay
The cute weirdo. Oh my darling, Olga. This is a role you were born to play, what with your outlandish outfits and juggling skills. You would be the weird girl that everybody grew to love and accept. Moosh!
Played in the movie by: Paul Gleason
Played in our version by: Nathan Barnatt
The pencil-neck asshole principal whose job it is to keep these damn punks in line. Richard Vernon’s role as the principal was never about him truly being an asshole. Instead, he was this misunderstood guy who was tasked with running the Saturday detention and constantly being plagued by the antics of a smart-mouth burnout. Really, Richard Vernon is all of us, just mercilessly harassed by a kid we’d like to pummel, but can’t. Sure, he crosses over the line into mild psychopath territory, but remember — these are problem students he’s dealing with. One of them brought a gun to school for chrissakes! Oh, and he would be excellently played here by Nathan Barnatt.
Carl the Janitor
Played in the movie by: John Kapelos
Played in our version by: Harley Morenstein
For those of you both familiar with the original Breakfast Club and NMR’s Weekend movie recasting, it should come as no surprise that Harley Morenstein is the only character who could and would ever play this role in our remake. This is John Bender’s future — but for now, the role is pure Harley.